You just got a cool new [blank]. You think it’s the most amazing [blank] ever and that people without the same [blank] as you are clearly retards. You’re surfing the web on the [train/boardwalk/toilet], you’re tweeting from [the dinner table/the cinema/space], and you’re even using that antiquated technology they call email.
You’re emailing all over the gaff, in your car, upside-down, during coital interludes; it’s super awesome. What’s even more cool is that your super incredible fantastic [blank] automatically tells everyone that you email was “Sent from my [blank].”
It’s not cool. It’s not cool to have your, assuredly, most enlightened thoughts automatically appended by your [blank]. It’s not in any way cool to be a sad advertising pawn. I do not want to know what [blank] you’ve just used to send me email from.
Furthermore, it shows that whilst you’re clearly very proud of owning this brilliant new [blank], you’re also either too proud or too stupid to edit the settings so that you can have your very own personal signature on your emails.
What’s even more lame is when said automatic signature, applied automatically because you’re a dumb ass that doesn’t know how to work said [blank], tells me that I should “Excuse your brevity”. I don’t. It just makes it worse. It shows you up as being less professional.
Just because you’re writing from a small device, it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to apply simple sentence construction and punctuation, or, even more novel, break your sentences into meaningful groups of paragraphs (although you’re probably being so terse that the concept of paragraphs is irrelevant).
It’s nearly as bad as writing mass emails and not placing the recipients in the bcc field. Ok, no it’s not nearly that bad, but it is definitely not cool.
Photo by Michael Kwan on Flickr. Inspired by A [Blank].